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The Psychological Vampire, Astrologically Viewed

ATTENTION: When a client comes to you, feeling like they will die without the person whom they are seeing, when they cannot break away, when they feel deflated and exhausted by the relationship— warn them! This is a Vampire. They must get away now!

NOTE: The inspiration for this article was taken from a lecture by Janet Kane, entitled CONFRONTING THE DARK ARCHETYPE: NEPTUNE & the MYTHIC VAMPIRE. To purchase a typed copy of the complete lecture, contact her at janetkane@verizon.net.

ATTENTION: http://books.google.gr/books?id=_w4rAwAAQBAJ&pg=PA54&dq=NewAgeAstrology+English&hl=el&sa=X&ei=dfU7U4HELuX-ygP1pIGoBQ&redir_esc=y#v=onepage&q=NewAgeAstrology%20English&f=false

ADDENDUM 2014:
http://www.sott.net/article/268449-Empathic-people-are-natural-targets-for-sociopaths-protect-yourself

I cannot make the link LIVE so you will need to cut & paste it into your browser. Pages 54-55 has an excellent article on the Vampire Energy of Pluto in the various signs. This is a magazine that it free for anyone to download.

http://paularenee.wordpress.com/identifying-a-narcissistic-sociopath/
This article was sent to be in November 2014 on the Narcissistic Sociopath. It makes for good reading for those who are vulnerable.

The archetype of the vampire has existed in all cultures throughout history. It is a popular symbol in myth, films and literature. The prevalence of the vampire myth is based on the fact that Vampires DO exist. They are men and women who live off of others psychic energy.

Vampires come into your life offering you something, sometimes it is a gift or they do you a great favor. Sometimes they are helpers. They seem more dynamic, intelligent and nicer than others. They seem bigger than life, they shine because they cast no shadow. A vampire does not own their shadow qualities. Once you let them into your life, you notice a feeling of tiredness, a sense of low self esteem, a need to replenish yourself. Nighttime is when they arrive, a classic symbol of unconsciousness. You can resist a vampire by remaining conscious.

Some people are more susceptible than others to psychic vampires. What hints can we get from our birth charts of our tendency to attract and be attracted to the vampire? Scorpios or predatorily with Pluto aspects will smell a rat immediately when they meet a Vampire but Pisces/Neptune types, the most sensitive, will be totally vulnerable. Compassion is the main characteristic of Pisces/Neptune types. So even if they recognize the Vampire, they feel that with love and compassion they can cure them. This is a BIG MISTAKE!

What house is your Neptune in? That is where you are the most vulnerable. If its in the 7th house, you would attract Vampire types as partners. If in the 5th, it could be one of your children, or in the 4th, it could be one of the parents, or both.

TYPING THE VAMPIRE:

People come into the world seeking love. When they do not find it, they seek power. When they do not develop internal power, they learn to tap into the energies/power of others. They see others as having Power but they have none – yet they feel entitled to the power of others. Entitlement issues are indicated by planets in the 8th House. Vampires do not own their Pluto. What they drain from others is not satisfying so that continually want more.

Vampires go into the helping professions because this makes it easier to get energy from willing subjects. They like to lecture to audiences but the audience often goes away feeling tired and drained. They are overly nice and extremely helpful, often as payment for taking your energies or to put themselves in a better position to syphon your energies. Vampires are extremely intelligent, “head” people and their predatorial tendencies make them highly vigilant… “seeking out the most vulnerable in the herd.” Being hyper-vigilant, they are excellent workers who do not miss anything. They are brilliant and highly psychic.

This is a type of Plutonian psychic ability, one based upon sizing up the strengths and weaknesses in others and based upon survival issues. Vampires exploit people – they did not receive love as a child so they feel the need to fill the void…but it never gets filled. They seek continual, unquestioning, unconditional love…love they cannot give themselves.

Vampires are heartless and soulless, yet they possess a great mind and a great personality. They often have bright or hypnotics eyes so it is advisable to avoid direct eye contract if you are a vulnerable type. Do not assess the person by whether or not you like them— Vampires are very likable! They feel they are giving you something in exchange for taking your energies.

Vampires are insidious in taking away your self-esteem. When around them, you feel tired, you feel flawed, insufficient and your self-esteem deflates. They attack your self-esteem with snide comments that serve to undermine your sense of self worth. You feel a need to shop or eat in order to replenish yourself. It is important at this point to give to yourself what the vampire seems to be offering in order not to be drawn into their web. If around these people for prolonged periods, your long-term health will be impaired!

Vampires do not like “Mirrors.” These people are not in touch with their dark side, they lack self-reflection and, in their need to see themselves as perfect, they avoid anyone who reflects back to them their Shadow Self. They do not want any feedback about any imperfections! They do not like or seek therapy where they could have to confront their Shadow.

They are often obsessive-compulsive. They can have a Borderline Personality Disorder… and some can even have a schizophrenic personality disorder. In many cultures, the most effective way to escape a vampire is to scatter poppy seed, mustard seeds or rice grains between one’s self and the monster. The vampire will be compelled to stop and count all of the grain, giving its intended victim sufficient time to flee the vampire or kill it.

Vampires do not know who they are. They can be narcissistic but Janet feels that not all narcissists are vampires. Anyone who is Perfect, such as “the perfect man,” is likely to be a vampire – they have no shadow. They are perfect! They never admit stupidity or failure. They cannot see this in themselves.

Vampires go through many relationships. Once people are drained out or refuse to allow themselves to be further siphoned, then move onto another victim. Not only do they go through friendships easily but their partner often looks pale and drawn. And, when someone says, “You’re my ONLY friend” or “I have never had any friends but you.” Do not take this as a compliment— they are likely vampires. Get away!

It is sometimes very difficult to get rid of a vampire, as long as they feel that you have something that they want. They prefer to end the relationship, usually when they find a new victim. They do not want to be without an energy source. They cannot survive!

Vampires are known to loiter at the crossroads. That means they can attack when we are at a major crossroads in our life. This is when we are most vulnerable.

Sometimes, we are attracted to Vampires because at least one of our parents was this way. If the mother is not a vampire, then the Vampire felt no support from the mother. If you yourself experiences an intimidating mother and adopted a “poor me” attitude— vampires love the “poor me” types!! Aloofness is the other response to an intimidating mother but this attitude would make you unavailable to the vampire.

A natal Mars-Neptune aspect can make one vulnerable to vampires. This aspect describes a parent, like a vampire, who did not want you to grow up or grow away. They did this by siphoning off your energy, your initiative to move on with your own life. They talk you out of and you learn to talk yourself out of doing on your own behalf. It is essential that you activate your Mars and learn to act on your own behalf. Vampires talk you out of this, discourage you in ways that make it seem “better” or easier not do act.

Vampires suffocate others, making people often feel that they cannot breathe. They use flattery. And, while many of us see compassion as a positive trait, the Vampire sees this as a weakness, a weakness that can benefit them in a major way.

Vampires often ask a lot of personal questions. They want to get to know you better for a reason – knowledge, to them, is power. They reveal little of the truth about themselves to others but they are always interrogating their Victim. The information they acquire will be used against you later on, to manipulate you or to tear you down. Never give the Vampire personal information. Respond to their questions with your own questions about them. Remember, the cross examination is to acquire information that will be used later on to control you. To the vampire, knowledge is power.

Since the increased use of the Internet, vampires can now attack you through chat rooms and e-Lists. They drain your energies through acquiring information and solicit your help in solving their problems… problems that never get solved. They are not seeking solutions, only your energy!

Remember, the Vampire is never concerned about your life, only what they can take from you. The vampire is only concerned with their personal survival.

HOW TO FRUSTRATE A VAMPIRE:

  1. Develop healthy boundaries for yourself.
  2. Never give them personal information – respond to their questions with your own questions.
  3. Keep yourself focused upon your own positive creativity. “Idle hands are the vampires workshop.”
  4. Never engage with these people. Remain aloof.
  5. “Cut off their head” – since they live in their heads, having no heart connection, this is the source of their power. Example: Questioning their intelligence
  6. Stay conscious! These people are stopped in their tracks by the Light of Consciousness. Show them what they are. Respond that you are feeling drained by them.
  7. Go for the heart! Example: When you feel drained by a person, a class or a speaker, just get up and walk away. This is staying conscious.

Vampires can be:

  1. the narcissistic, self-absorbed victim
  2. the charismatic, high-energy individual
  3. the argumentative bully who absorbed energy through initiating discord
  4. the controlling salesperson who is more interested in taking your energy than really selling anything
  5. those who enter our psyches by instilling fears, doubts and attempts to alienate us from our friends and family, people whom we would normally trust
  6. “The World Is About To End” speakers who excite our fears to absorb our energies
  7. “The Great Love” who manipulates our emotions to siphon off your energies.

CHART EXAMPLES:

These charts are from my personal collection of Vampires. These charts are for people in Europe, not the United States; however, for purposes of confidentiality, I am not reproducing the charts that I have used. I will only describe the placements.

DESCRIPTION 1: Leo Asc conjunct Transpluto; Saturn in Pisces in the 8th opposing Mars-Uranus-Pluto in Virgo and Neptune in the 4th House Retrograde 135° Sun. Neptune and Moon are the most aspected planets in the chart.

Chart #1 is that of a woman who is well known among her friends to be a Vampire. When I met her, I got tired very quickly. I was doing tarot card readings for my friends in Europe and, after reading for this woman, I had to stop. I was exhausted. What is curious about this woman is that you can tell her to stop taking your energies and she will stop. You can even do this by telepathy— and she will stop.

Her Sun is weakly aspected, only a conjunction to Venus. There is a theory that Vampires are lacking in Prana, ruled by the Sun, and they take this energy from their victims.

Vampires often have a parent who is a vampire. Neptune and all hard Neptune aspects can denote a parent who did not want the child to grow up or go away, sabotaging and siphoning off their energies. Minor aspects can be unconscious and Mercury is inconjunct Neptune and the Sun is sesquiquadrate Neptune. Neptune in the 4th is said to produce “skeletons in the closet.” Her father is a “dark” celebrity in Europe and her mother committed suicide.

Astrologer, Janet Kane, has observed that people who had Vampire parents have Neptune afflicting their natal Sun-Moon-Mercury-Venus. I have personally observed that such aspects cause a lack of boundaries (often at the etheric level; leaks in the etheric web) where a parent is concerned.

The 8th House and Scorpio energies can signify a Vampire but, be assured, not all 8th House/Scorpio people are Vampires. It is the type who have strong entitlement issues as a result of the 8th House tendencies who can be Vampires. Often raised around people who had more than they did, they feel that they are entitled to the energy and resources of others.

DESCRIPTION 2: Saturn Retrograde in Pisces on Asc; stellium in 7th, including Mars-Neptune conjunction; Sun weakly aspected but square Pluto.

Chart #2 is an example of a Vampire who changed! For many years, everyone who knew him were very aware of his strong energy-draining tendencies. People were often afraid to see him because he drained their energies so much. But, something happened when the transiting Uranus crossed his ASC. He suddenly became “wise,” content and much more independent. He is no longer jealous of others— and he is no longer a Vampire! So, from this example, the Vampire can change and I am told that he changed a lot!

The significant aspects that indicate boundary issues are Mars-Neptune in a 7th House stellium (co-dependent issues) and Saturn in Pisces Retrograde in the 1st. Being Retrograde and in Pisces always presents boundary distortion— trouble defining boundaries for self as well as others.

DESCRIPTION 3: Venus-Jupiter in Scorpio on Asc (can be narcissistic); Sun/Mars-Neptune square; Moon in Pisces Apex of YOD.

Chart #3 is a man who, when I met him, I felt so tired. I would have dreams of a tire slowly losing its air. I observed that I would start to eat when around him as a way of establishing a defense against his draining energies. Like the true Vampire, he presents himself as helpful, charming and willing to do anything for you… as long as he can take your energies.

I feel that the key signature in his chart the Moon in Pisces in the 4th as Apex of a Yod with Neptune and Pluto. He grew up with a powerful mother figure who was probably the Vampire in his life. She made him the “little man” in her life, coddling him and taking his energy… something that he resented all his life but he felt powerless to get away from her. He does not own his Pluto and the strong Neptune aspects indicate boundary issues.

He is always seeking the company of powerful, older women to support him financially and energetically. Typical of Uranus in the 7th, his relationships never last long but, typical of the Vampire, he does not leave one victim until he finds another victim. He may have an intimate relationship but, at the same time, have several telephone or internet relationships. Janet Kane says that the Vampire can work very successfully via the Internet.

I am told that, when he finds a new victim with fresh energy, he is on a “high” like a addict who has just taken heroin. When the source begins to tire and dry up, he no longer feels this high and he must begin seeking another victim.

DESCRIPTION 4: Sun in Capricorn square Neptune in 8th; stellium in 7th; Sun strongly aspected (important).

Chart #4 is not a Vampire but her mother was a Vampire and she attracts Vampires. My Vampire charts come from this woman. Her chart is not typical of the person who is attracted to Vampires and whose parent was a Vampire. As I have stated earlier, Janet has observed friends with Neptune square Mercury, Neptune conjunct Venus, Neptune square Sun and Neptune square Moon have the Vampire parent and they themselves are attracted to Vampires…or, more correctly, Vampires are attracted to them because they do not have the etheric boundary and protection against such life-draining individuals.

My friend does have a wide Neptune square Sun aspect and her mother sabotaged her energies so that she would not grow up or grow away. But, all who know her would say that she is very Plutonian. While she resented taking care of her Vampire mother, there was always an unhealthy bond, until the mother died. Yet, she is always intrigued by Vampires. She can identify them quickly and she knows exactly how to handle them. I have never met anyone with such a fascination with Vampires.

I suggest that those interested in the topic read the book, ENERGY VAMPIRES: A Practical Guide for Psychic Self-Protection by Dorothy Harbour.

THE NARCISSIST – Not always a Vampire but just as dysfunctional:

In popular culture, the term “narcissistic” is thrown about quite loosely, usually referring to vanity and self-absorption. This reduces narcissism to a common quality that everyone possesses and downplays the symptoms demonstrated by people with the actual disorder. While narcissism does exist on a spectrum, narcissism as a full-fledged personality disorder is quite different.

People who meet the criteria for Narcissistic Personality Disorder or those who have traits of Antisocial Personality Disorder can operate in extremely manipulative ways within the context of intimate relationships due to their deceitfulness, lack of empathy and their tendency to be interpersonally exploitative. Although I will be focusing on narcissistic abusers in this post, due to the overlap of symptoms in these two disorders, this post can potentially apply to interactions with those who have ASPD to an extent.

It’s important in any kind of relationship that we learn to identify the red flags when interacting with people who display malignant narcissism and/or antisocial traits, so we can better protect ourselves from exploitation and abuse, set boundaries, and make informed decisions about who we keep in our lives. Understanding the nature of these toxic interactions and how they affect us has an enormous impact on our ability to engage in self-care.

Watch out for the following covert manipulation tactics when you’re dating someone or in a relationship.

1. The Idealization-Devaluation-Discard Phase

Narcissists and those with antisocial traits tend to subject romantic partners through three phases within a relationship. The idealization phase (which often happens most strongly during the early stages of dating or a relationship) consists of putting you on a pedestal, making you the center of his/her world, being in contact with you frequently, and showering you with flattery and praise. You are convinced that the narcissist can’t live without you and that you’ve met your soulmate. Be wary of: constant texting, shallow flattery and wanting to be around you at all times. This is a technique known as “lovebombing” and it is how most victims get sucked in: they are tired of the “games” people play with each other in communication and are flattered by the constant attention they get from the narcissist. You may be fooled into thinking that this means a narcissist is truly interested in you, when in fact, he or she is interested in making you dependent on their constant praise and attention.

The devaluation phase is subsequent to this idealization phase, and this is when you’re left wondering why you were so abruptly thrust off the pedestal. The narcissist will suddenly start to blow hot and cold, criticizing you, covertly and overtly putting you down, comparing you to others, emotionally withdrawing from you and giving you the silent treatment when you’ve failed to meet their “standards.” Since the “hot” aspect of this phase relies on intermittent reinforcement in which the narcissist gives you inconsistent spurts of the idealization phase throughout, you become convinced that perhaps you are at fault and you can “control” the narcissist’s reactions.

Even though the narcissist can be quite possessive and jealous over you, since he or she views you as an object and a source of narcissistic supply, the narcissist is prone to projecting this same behavior onto you. The narcissist makes you seem like the needy one as you react to his or her withdrawal and withholding patterns even though the expectations of frequent contact were established early on in the relationship by the narcissist himself.

You are mislead into thinking that if you just learn not to be so “needy,” “clingy,” or “jealous,” the narcissist will reward you with the loving behavior he or she demonstrated in the beginning. The narcissist may use these and other similar words to gaslight victims when they react normally to being provoked. It’s a way to maintain control over your legitimate emotional reactions to their stonewalling, emotional withdrawal and inconsistency.

Unfortunately, it is during the devaluation phase that a narcissist’s true self shows itself. You have to understand that the man or woman in the beginning of the relationship never truly existed. The true colors are only now beginning to show, so it will be a struggle as you attempt to reconcile the image that the narcissist presented to you with his or her current behavior.

During the discard phase, the narcissist abandons his or her victim in the most horrific, demeaning way possible to convince the victim that he or she is worthless. This could range from: leaving the victim for another lover, humiliating the victim in public, being physically aggressive and a whole range of other demeaning behaviors to communicate to the victim that he or she is no longer important.

2. Gaslighting.

Most abusive relationships contain a certain amount of gaslighting, a technique narcissists use to convince you that your perception of the abuse is inaccurate. During the devaluation and discard phases, the narcissist will often remark upon your emotional instability, your “issues,” and displace blame of his/her abuse as your fault. Frequent use of phrases such as “You provoked me,” “You’re too sensitive,” “I never said that,” or “You’re taking things too seriously” after the narcissists’ abusive outbursts are common and are used to gaslight you into thinking that the abuse is indeed your fault or that it never even took place.

Narcissists are masters of making you doubt yourself and the abuse. This is why victims so often suffer from ruminations after the ending of a relationship with a narcissist, because the emotional invalidation they received from the narcissist made them feel powerless in their agency and perceptions. This self-doubt enables them to stay within abusive relationships even when it’s clear that the relationship is a toxic one, because they are led to mistrust their own instincts and interpretations of events.

3. Smear campaigns.

Narcissists keep harems because they love to have their egos stroked and they need constant validation from the outside world to feed their need for excessive admiration and confirm their grandiose sense of self-importance. They are clever chameleons who are also people-pleasers, morphing into whatever personality suits them in situations with different types of people. It is no surprise, then, that the narcissist begins a smear campaign against you not too long after the discard phase, in order to paint you as the unstable one, and that this is usually successful with the narcissist’s support network which also tends to consist of other narcissists, people-pleasers, empaths, as well as people who are easily charmed.

This smear campaign accomplishes three things: 1) it depicts you as the abuser or unstable person and deflects your accusations of abuse, 2) it provokes you, thus proving your instability to others when trying to argue his or her depiction of you, and 3) serves as a hoovering technique in which the narcissist seeks to pull you back into the trauma of the relationship as you struggle to reconcile the rumors about you with who you actually are by speaking out against the accusations. The only way to not get pulled into this tactic is by going full No Contact with both the narcissist and his or her harem.

4. Triangulation.

Healthy relationships thrive on security; unhealthy ones are filled with provocation, uncertainty and infidelity. Narcissists like to manufacture love triangles and bring in the opinions of others to validate their point of view. They do this to an excessive extent in order to play puppeteer to your emotions. In the book Psychopath Free by Peace, the method of triangulation is discussed as a popular way the narcissist maintains control over your emotions. Triangulation consists of bringing the presence of another person into the dynamic of the relationship, whether it be an ex-lover, a current mistress, a relative, or a complete stranger.

This triangulation can take place over social media, in person, or even through the narcissist’s own verbal accounts of the other woman or man. The narcissist relies on jealousy as a powerful emotion that can cause you to compete for his or her affections, so provocative statements like “I wish you’d be more like her,” or “He wants me back into his life, I don’t know what to do” are designed to trigger the abuse victim into competing and feeling insecure about his or her position in the narcissist’s life.

Unlike healthy relationships where jealousy is communicated and dealt with in a productive manner, the narcissist will belittle your feelings and continue inappropriate flirtations and affairs without a second thought. Triangulation is the way the narcissist maintains control and keeps you in check – you’re so busy competing for his or her attention that you’re less likely to be focusing on the red flags within the relationship or looking for ways to get out of the relationship.

5. The false self and the true self.

The narcissist hides behind the armor of a “false self,” a construct of qualities and traits that he or she usually presents to the outside world. Due to this armor, you are unlikely to comprehend the full extent of a narcissist’s inhumanity and lack of empathy until you are in the discard phase. This can make it difficult to pinpoint who the narcissistic abuser truly is – the sweet, charming and seemingly remorseful person that appears shortly after the abuse, or the abusive partner who ridicules, invalidates and belittles you on a daily basis? You suffer a great deal of cognitive dissonance trying to reconcile the illusion the narcissist first presented to you with the tormenting behaviors he or she subjects you to. In order to cope with this cognitive dissonance, you might blame yourself for his or her abusive behavior and attempt to “improve” yourself when you have done nothing wrong, just to uphold your belief in the narcissist’s false self during the devaluation phase.

During the discard phase, the narcissist reveals the true self – the ugly, abusive and abrasive monster rears its head and you get a glimpse of the evil that was lurking within all along. You bear witness to his or her cold, callous indifference as you are discarded. You might think this is only a momentary lapse into evil, but actually, it is as close you will ever get to seeing the narcissist’s true self.

The manipulative, conniving charm that existed in the beginning is no more – instead, it is replaced by the genuine contempt that the narcissist felt for you all along. See, narcissists don’t truly feel empathy or love for others – so during the discard phase, they feel absolutely nothing for you except the excitement of having exhausted another source of supply. You were just another source of supply, so do not fool yourself into thinking that the magical connection that existed in the beginning was in any way real. It was an illusion, much like the identity of the narcissist was an illusion.

It is time to pick up the pieces, go No Contact, heal, and move forward. You were not only a victim of narcissistic abuse, but a survivor. Owning this dual status as both victim and survivor permits you to own your agency after the abuse and to live the life you were meant to lead – one filled with self-care, self-love, respect, and compassion.

HOW TO PROTECT YOURSELF AGAINST AN EMOTIONALLY MANIPULATIVE PERSON

In popular culture, the term “narcissistic” is thrown about quite loosely, usually referring to vanity and self-absorption. This reduces narcissism to a common quality that everyone possesses and downplays the symptoms demonstrated by people with the actual disorder. While narcissism does exist on a spectrum, narcissism as a full-fledged personality disorder is quite different.

People who meet the criteria for Narcissistic Personality Disorder or those who have traits of Antisocial Personality Disorder can operate in extremely manipulative ways within the context of intimate relationships due to their deceitfulness, lack of empathy and their tendency to be interpersonally exploitative. Although I will be focusing on narcissistic abusers in this post, due to the overlap of symptoms in these two disorders, this post can potentially apply to interactions with those who have ASPD to an extent.

It’s important in any kind of relationship that we learn to identify the red flags when interacting with people who display malignant narcissism and/or antisocial traits, so we can better protect ourselves from exploitation and abuse, set boundaries, and make informed decisions about who we keep in our lives. Understanding the nature of these toxic interactions and how they affect us has an enormous impact on our ability to engage in self-care.

Watch out for the following covert manipulation tactics when you’re dating someone or in a relationship.

1. The Idealization-Devaluation-Discard Phase

Narcissists and those with antisocial traits tend to subject romantic partners through three phases within a relationship. The idealization phase (which often happens most strongly during the early stages of dating or a relationship) consists of putting you on a pedestal, making you the center of his/her world, being in contact with you frequently, and showering you with flattery and praise. You are convinced that the narcissist can’t live without you and that you’ve met your soulmate. Be wary of: constant texting, shallow flattery and wanting to be around you at all times. This is a technique known as “lovebombing” and it is how most victims get sucked in: they are tired of the “games” people play with each other in communication and are flattered by the constant attention they get from the narcissist. You may be fooled into thinking that this means a narcissist is truly interested in you, when in fact, he or she is interested in making you dependent on their constant praise and attention.

The devaluation phase is subsequent to this idealization phase, and this is when you’re left wondering why you were so abruptly thrust off the pedestal. The narcissist will suddenly start to blow hot and cold, criticizing you, covertly and overtly putting you down, comparing you to others, emotionally withdrawing from you and giving you the silent treatment when you’ve failed to meet their “standards.” Since the “hot” aspect of this phase relies on intermittent reinforcement in which the narcissist gives you inconsistent spurts of the idealization phase throughout, you become convinced that perhaps you are at fault and you can “control” the narcissist’s reactions.

Even though the narcissist can be quite possessive and jealous over you, since he or she views you as an object and a source of narcissistic supply, the narcissist is prone to projecting this same behavior onto you. The narcissist makes you seem like the needy one as you react to his or her withdrawal and withholding patterns even though the expectations of frequent contact were established early on in the relationship by the narcissist himself.

You are mislead into thinking that if you just learn not to be so “needy,” “clingy,” or “jealous,” the narcissist will reward you with the loving behavior he or she demonstrated in the beginning. The narcissist may use these and other similar words to gaslight victims when they react normally to being provoked. It’s a way to maintain control over your legitimate emotional reactions to their stonewalling, emotional withdrawal and inconsistency.

Unfortunately, it is during the devaluation phase that a narcissist’s true self shows itself. You have to understand that the man or woman in the beginning of the relationship never truly existed. The true colors are only now beginning to show, so it will be a struggle as you attempt to reconcile the image that the narcissist presented to you with his or her current behavior.

During the discard phase, the narcissist abandons his or her victim in the most horrific, demeaning way possible to convince the victim that he or she is worthless. This could range from: leaving the victim for another lover, humiliating the victim in public, being physically aggressive and a whole range of other demeaning behaviors to communicate to the victim that he or she is no longer important.

2. Gaslighting.

Most abusive relationships contain a certain amount of gaslighting, a technique narcissists use to convince you that your perception of the abuse is inaccurate. During the devaluation and discard phases, the narcissist will often remark upon your emotional instability, your “issues,” and displace blame of his/her abuse as your fault. Frequent use of phrases such as “You provoked me,” “You’re too sensitive,” “I never said that,” or “You’re taking things too seriously” after the narcissists’ abusive outbursts are common and are used to gaslight you into thinking that the abuse is indeed your fault or that it never even took place.

Narcissists are masters of making you doubt yourself and the abuse. This is why victims so often suffer from ruminations after the ending of a relationship with a narcissist, because the emotional invalidation they received from the narcissist made them feel powerless in their agency and perceptions. This self-doubt enables them to stay within abusive relationships even when it’s clear that the relationship is a toxic one, because they are led to mistrust their own instincts and interpretations of events.

3. Smear campaigns.

Narcissists keep harems because they love to have their egos stroked and they need constant validation from the outside world to feed their need for excessive admiration and confirm their grandiose sense of self-importance. They are clever chameleons who are also people-pleasers, morphing into whatever personality suits them in situations with different types of people. It is no surprise, then, that the narcissist begins a smear campaign against you not too long after the discard phase, in order to paint you as the unstable one, and that this is usually successful with the narcissist’s support network which also tends to consist of other narcissists, people-pleasers, empaths, as well as people who are easily charmed.

This smear campaign accomplishes three things: 1) it depicts you as the abuser or unstable person and deflects your accusations of abuse, 2) it provokes you, thus proving your instability to others when trying to argue his or her depiction of you, and 3) serves as a hoovering technique in which the narcissist seeks to pull you back into the trauma of the relationship as you struggle to reconcile the rumors about you with who you actually are by speaking out against the accusations. The only way to not get pulled into this tactic is by going full No Contact with both the narcissist and his or her harem.

4. Triangulation.

Healthy relationships thrive on security; unhealthy ones are filled with provocation, uncertainty and infidelity. Narcissists like to manufacture love triangles and bring in the opinions of others to validate their point of view. They do this to an excessive extent in order to play puppeteer to your emotions. In the book Psychopath Free by Peace, the method of triangulation is discussed as a popular way the narcissist maintains control over your emotions. Triangulation consists of bringing the presence of another person into the dynamic of the relationship, whether it be an ex-lover, a current mistress, a relative, or a complete stranger.

This triangulation can take place over social media, in person, or even through the narcissist’s own verbal accounts of the other woman or man. The narcissist relies on jealousy as a powerful emotion that can cause you to compete for his or her affections, so provocative statements like “I wish you’d be more like her,” or “He wants me back into his life, I don’t know what to do” are designed to trigger the abuse victim into competing and feeling insecure about his or her position in the narcissist’s life.

Unlike healthy relationships where jealousy is communicated and dealt with in a productive manner, the narcissist will belittle your feelings and continue inappropriate flirtations and affairs without a second thought. Triangulation is the way the narcissist maintains control and keeps you in check – you’re so busy competing for his or her attention that you’re less likely to be focusing on the red flags within the relationship or looking for ways to get out of the relationship.

5. The false self and the true self.

The narcissist hides behind the armor of a “false self,” a construct of qualities and traits that he or she usually presents to the outside world. Due to this armor, you are unlikely to comprehend the full extent of a narcissist’s inhumanity and lack of empathy until you are in the discard phase. This can make it difficult to pinpoint who the narcissistic abuser truly is – the sweet, charming and seemingly remorseful person that appears shortly after the abuse, or the abusive partner who ridicules, invalidates and belittles you on a daily basis? You suffer a great deal of cognitive dissonance trying to reconcile the illusion the narcissist first presented to you with the tormenting behaviors he or she subjects you to. In order to cope with this cognitive dissonance, you might blame yourself for his or her abusive behavior and attempt to “improve” yourself when you have done nothing wrong, just to uphold your belief in the narcissist’s false self during the devaluation phase.

During the discard phase, the narcissist reveals the true self – the ugly, abusive and abrasive monster rears its head and you get a glimpse of the evil that was lurking within all along. You bear witness to his or her cold, callous indifference as you are discarded. You might think this is only a momentary lapse into evil, but actually, it is as close you will ever get to seeing the narcissist’s true self.

The manipulative, conniving charm that existed in the beginning is no more – instead, it is replaced by the genuine contempt that the narcissist felt for you all along. See, narcissists don’t truly feel empathy or love for others – so during the discard phase, they feel absolutely nothing for you except the excitement of having exhausted another source of supply. You were just another source of supply, so do not fool yourself into thinking that the magical connection that existed in the beginning was in any way real. It was an illusion, much like the identity of the narcissist was an illusion.

It is time to pick up the pieces, go No Contact, heal, and move forward. You were not only a victim of narcissistic abuse, but a survivor. Owning this dual status as both victim and survivor permits you to own your agency after the abuse and to live the life you were meant to lead – one filled with self-care, self-love, respect, and compassion.

————————————————-

IDENTIFYING A NARCISSISTIC SOCIOPATH

Sociopaths aren’t just the serial killers and rapists we see on the 6 o’clock news. They are our neighbors, co-workers, friends, family members, and sometimes our “soul mates.”

Sociopaths are the charmers and manipulators. They are the people who appear together and well-groomed at first glance, but hide many secrets and lies underneath their mask of sanity.

Sociopaths, in the early love-bombing stage of an intimate relationship, use many superlatives in order to woo and control their victims.

They say things to intoxicate you into compliance:

“You are the love of my life.” “I have never known anyone like you.” “You are perfect for me.” “I want to spend the rest of my life with you.” “I never want to leave your side.” “You are the most beautiful person I have ever met.” “We are perfect for each other.” “You are exactly what I have been looking for my entire life.”

The following is taken from my book: Escaping the Boy: My Life with a Sociopath:

Do you know what it feels like to be locked up, placed in a dungeon of a partner’s creation? If so, you’re not alone. If not, pray you never do.

Abuse comes in many forms and affects many people in the victim’s life. Emotional, physical, and sexual abuses are equally degrading and harmful. One is not better than the other or worse than the other. They are ALL abuse.

This story is specifically about emotional abuse at the hands of a narcissistic sociopath.

According to Dr. Martha Stout’s book The Sociopath Next Door, sociopaths make up 4% of western society (Stout, 2010). That’s about 1 in 25 people walking around among us without a conscience, without the ability to measure, or care to measure, the morality of their decisions and actions. Would you know how to identify a sociopath if you saw one, met one, started an intimate relationship or entered into a business contract with one? More than likely, your answer is No, because unlike what we read on the television news or see in Hollywood movies, sociopaths aren’t just serial killers and murderers. Rather, they are members of our communities who we would never suspect of evil or wrong doing and who seamlessly blend into society with the rest of us. How? Through lies, manipulations, and more lies.

In romance, narcissistic sociopaths often appear too good to be true. They are charming, agreeable, and engaging. The narcissistic sociopath loves (or seems to love) everything about you. He hooks you. Then he breaks you. His emotional abuse is VERY subtle. The victim may not know she is being victimized until it is nearly too late.
Identifying narcissistic sociopaths

Although not all narcissists are sociopaths, all sociopaths are narcissists (Stout 2010). Therefore, if you can identify a narcissist, you’re one step closer to being able to recognize a sociopath. Below is a definition of narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) and a list of narcissistic traits taken directly from the website of Dr. Sam Vaknin, author of Malignant Self-Love. (If you know someone who fits at least 5 or more of these traits, a psychiatrist could easily diagnose him/her as having NPD.)

The DSM-IV-TR defines Narcissistic Personality Disorder as “an all-pervasive pattern of grandiosity (in fantasy or behavior), need for admiration or adulation and lack of empathy, usually beginning by early adulthood and present in various contexts,” such as family life and work.

1. Feels grandiose and self-important (e.g., exaggerates accomplishments, talents, skills, contacts, and personality traits to the point of lying, demands to be recognized as superior without commensurate achievements);

2. Is obsessed with fantasies of unlimited success, fame, fearsome power or omnipotence, unequalled brilliance (the cerebral narcissist), bodily beauty or sexual performance (the somatic narcissist), or ideal, everlasting, all-conquering love or passion;

3. Firmly convinced that he or she is unique and, being special, can only be understood by, should only be treated by, or associate with, other special or unique, or high-status people (or institutions);

4. Requires excessive admiration, adulation, attention and affirmation – or, failing that, wishes to be feared and to be notorious (Narcissistic Supply);

5. Feels entitled. Demands automatic and full compliance with his or her unreasonable expectations for special and favorable priority treatment;

6. Is “interpersonally exploitative”, i.e., uses others to achieve his or her own ends;

7. Devoid of empathy. Is unable or unwilling to identify with, acknowledge, or accept the feelings, needs, preferences, priorities, and choices of others;

8. Constantly envious of others and seeks to hurt or destroy the objects of his or her frustration. Suffers from persecutory (paranoid) delusions as he or she believes that they feel the same about him or her and are likely to act similarly;

9. Behaves arrogantly and haughtily. Feels superior, omnipotent, omniscient, invincible, immune, “above the law”, and omnipresent (magical thinking). Rages when frustrated, contradicted, or confronted by people he or she considers inferior to him or her and unworthy (http://samvak.tripod.com).

Once it’s clear you’re dealing with a narcissist, go through the following list to see if the narcissist is also a sociopath. (You’ll discover many overlapping traits from each list.) The list below of 20 sociopathic traits is taken directly from the book Without Conscience: The Disturbing World of the Psychopaths Among Us by Dr. Robert D. Hare, Ph.D:

1. Glib and superficial charm. The tendency to be smooth, engaging, charming, slick, and verbally facile. Sociopathic charm is not in the least shy, self-conscious, or afraid to say anything. A sociopath never gets tongue-tied. They have freed themselves from the social conventions about taking turns in talking, for example.

2. Grandiose self-worth. A grossly inflated view of one’s abilities and self-worth, self-assured, opinionated, cocky, a braggart. Sociopaths are arrogant people who believe they are superior human beings.

3. Need for stimulation or proneness to boredom. An excessive need for novel, thrilling, and exciting stimulation; taking chances and doing things that are risky. Sociopaths often have low self-discipline in carrying tasks through to completion because they get bored easily. They fail to work at the same job for any length of time, for example, or to finish tasks that they consider dull or routine.

4. Pathological lying. Can be moderate or high; in moderate form, they will be shrewd, crafty, cunning, sly, and clever; in extreme form, they will be deceptive, deceitful, underhanded, unscrupulous, manipulative, and dishonest.

5. Conning and manipulative. The use of deceit and deception to cheat, con, or defraud others for personal gain; distinguished from Item #4 in the degree to which exploitation and callous ruthlessness is present, as reflected in a lack of concern for the feelings and suffering of one’s victims.

6. Lack of remorse or guilt. A lack of feelings or concern for the losses, pain, and suffering of victims; a tendency to be unconcerned, dispassionate, coldhearted, and unempathic. This item is usually demonstrated by a disdain for one’s victims.

7. Shallow affect. Emotional poverty or a limited range or depth of feelings; interpersonal coldness in spite of signs of open gregariousness.

8. Callousness and lack of empathy. A lack of feelings toward people in general; cold, contemptuous, inconsiderate, and tactless.

9. Parasitic lifestyle. An intentional, manipulative, selfish, and exploitative financial dependence on others as reflected in a lack of motivation, low self-discipline, and inability to begin or complete responsibilities.

10. Poor behavioral controls. Expressions of irritability, annoyance, impatience, threats, aggression, and verbal abuse; inadequate control of anger and temper; acting hastily.

11. Promiscuous sexual behavior. A variety of brief, superficial relations, numerous affairs, and an indiscriminate selection of sexual partners; the maintenance of several relationships at the same time; a history of attempts to sexually coerce others into sexual activity or taking great pride at discussing sexual exploits or conquests.

12. Early behavior problems. A variety of behaviors prior to age 13, including lying, theft, cheating, vandalism, bullying, sexual activity, fire-setting, glue-sniffing, alcohol use, and running away from home.

13. Lack of realistic, long-term goals. An inability or persistent failure to develop and execute long-term plans and goals; a nomadic existence, aimless, lacking direction in life.

14. Impulsivity. The occurrence of behaviors that are unpremeditated and lack reflection or planning; inability to resist temptation, frustrations, and urges; a lack of deliberation without considering the consequences; foolhardy, rash, unpredictable, erratic, and reckless.

15. Irresponsibility. Repeated failure to fulfill or honor obligations and commitments; such as not paying bills, defaulting on loans, performing sloppy work, being absent or late to work, failing to honor contractual agreements.

16. Failure to accept responsibility for own actions. A failure to accept responsibility for one’s actions reflected in low conscientiousness, an absence of dutifulness, antagonistic manipulation, denial of responsibility, and an effort to manipulate others through this denial.

17. Many short-term marital relationships. A lack of commitment to a long-term relationship reflected in inconsistent, undependable, and unreliable commitments in life, including marital.

18. Juvenile delinquency. Behavior problems between the ages of 13-18; mostly behaviors that are crimes or clearly involve aspects of antagonism, exploitation, aggression, manipulation, or a callous, ruthless tough-mindedness.

19. Revocation of condition release. A revocation of probation or other conditional release due to technical violations, such as carelessness, low deliberation, or failing to appear.

20. Criminal versatility. A diversity of types of criminal offenses, regardless if the person has been arrested or convicted for them; taking great pride at getting away with crimes. (Hare 2011).

In addition to the above two lists of traits, the biggest trait (or magic trick as I like to call it) that makes narcissistic sociopaths so dangerous and effective is their ability to go unnoticed by the rest of us. They can do this, because they are good at pretending (lying) and wearing many masks (again, lying). Simply put, they lie to themselves and everyone else. They lie so much that some of them are convinced of their own lies, which is where evil is born.

I am no psychologist, psychiatrist, or counselor. However, I have lived alongside a narcissistic sociopath and feel the need to share, even if in a tale-like fiction setting, how I understand the psychopathology that insidiously penetrated my body, mind, and spirit until I was nearly convinced that I was the evil one. How? Projection, transference, and control, that’s how.

  1. Dharmaruci Says:

    I think you can get leaders/celebrities who are vampires, feeding off large sections of the population. Eva Peron, who had a wide Sun-Neptune square was like this, allowing herself to be seen as the Redeemer, while the people’s worship of her was simply a measure of their desperation. Gurus can be vampires par excellence, feeding off their disempowered disciples. I think when people project stuff onto you, and you start to believe it, then you become a vampire. And I’ve noticed that Pisces/Neptune is often prominent. Margaret Thatcher has a Moon-Neptune-MC conjunction, and became extremely dominant, and seemed to shrivel and age when she lost power.

  2. Robin Says:

    Lynn – Have you noticed a connection between Vampire aspects in your charts and tendancies of Vampires toward religious fundamentalism or extreme submersion in organized religion as well as a drive to convert or draw others to their religion?

  3. Lynn Koiner Says:

    Thank you for writing. I am believe that Peron might be a Vampire. They do feed on the energy of large groups. They can appear as grear charismatic orators….only because they can draw on the energy of their audience. Yes, Robin, I believe that any extreme believe system can be the vehicle for Vampires. When believers get ensnared,
    it is very difficult for them to get away. With a Vampire, you feel that you will die without them. It is really the Vampire who cannot survive without a host.

  4. Lynn Koiner Says:

    My friend, Barbara, sent me this post about other forms of toxic relationships and how to spot them

    How to Protect Your Health Against Toxic Behavior

    http://www.drbenkim.com/toxic-people-behavior.html

    By Dr. Ben Kim on August 13, 2007 Personal Observations

    How to Identify Human Toxicity

    Generally speaking, I think it’s safe to say that a person is toxic to your health if his or her
    behavior makes you feel bad on a regular basis. Clearly, there are exceptions to this guideline. For
    example, if a close friend or family member shares a concern about your behavior with a spirit of
    wanting to improve your relationship, you may feel bad and your health may take a temporary hit, but
    it doesn’t make sense to label such friends or family members as being toxic.

    What follows are specific patterns of behavior that I believe fall into the “toxic-to-your-health”
    category:

    1. Attempting to intimidate you by yelling or becoming violent in any manner (slamming a door is
    violence).

    2. Consistently talking down at you, sending the message that he or she is just plain better than
    you.

    3. Regularly telling you what he or she thinks is wrong with you.

    4. Slandering others behind their backs i.e. trying to engage you in gossip that is hurtful to
    others.

    5. Spending the bulk of your conversations complaining about his or her life and others.

    6. Discouraging you from pursuing your interests and dreams.

    7. Attempting to take advantage of your kindness and resources, and trying to make you feel guilty
    if you don’t do what he or she wants.

    How to Deal With Toxic People and Behavior

    So how do you preserve your health after you have identified a person as being toxic to your health?
    The answer depends on the role that the toxic person plays in your life. Although it is virtually
    impossible to categorize all such people into neat columns, I tend to classify them into one of the
    following groups:

    Group 1: H&G (Hi and Good Bye)

    Examples of people who belong in this category:

    Unkind customer service representatives People who exhibit road rage Strangers on the street

    How to protect your health against such people:

    1. First, think carefully about your own behavior to see if you may have done or said something to
    cause the other party’s behavior.

    2. If you can identify something that you did that likely offended the other party, if possible,
    offer a sincere apology. If he or she accepts your apology, things work out well for both parties.
    If your apology is not accepted, you can at least walk away with some level of peace of mind,
    knowing that you owned up to your behavior.

    3. If you cannot think of a single thing that you did that could have offended the other party,
    give him or her a silent “H&G” and walk away. Confronting the other party about unkind behavior is
    not likely to be fruitful. Since you don’t have to co-exist on a regular basis, you can take the
    mindset of “fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me.” In other words, the other
    party’s unkind behavior — unexpected by you — is on him or her; he or she will reap natural
    consequences in due time.

    Group 2: No real need to be close, but contact is frequent due to life circumstances

    Examples of people who belong in this category:

    Fellow students Co-workers Neighbors Members of groups that you regularly meet with (church, book club, sports club, etc.)

    How to protect your health against such people:

    1. As before, start by examining your own behavior to see if you can come up with a reasonable
    cause for the other party’s unacceptable behavior. If you cannot come up with a reason for the other
    party’s behavior, find someone who you can trust to be as objective and honest as possible, and
    explain the conflict to him or her as thoroughly and accurately as possible. Ask for honest feedback
    on how you might have triggered the other party’s behavior.

    2. If appropriate, apologize for your behavior. If you and your advisor have thought long and hard
    about the conflict and cannot identify anything that you need to apologize for, work on developing
    compassion for the other party.

    Most can agree that people are not born to be mean-spirited and toxic to others. People can become
    mean-spirited and toxic to others for varying periods of time if they encounter enough hurt,
    disappointment, and/or anger in their own journeys. Maybe the other party is jealous of you and
    consumed by his or her own failures. Maybe he or she is just going through a really rough time due
    to a loss in the family. Maybe he or she has never truly felt cared about by another person. Maybe
    the other party has been treated so poorly by family members that sensitivity has been numbed and he
    or she has no idea that you feel like you have been mistreated. The idea is to generate enough
    compassion for the other party to overpower or at least quell your hurt feelings.

    This doesn’t mean that you need to be a martyr or a doormat and go asking for another two tight
    slaps to your other cheek. Developing some compassion for the other party’s behavior is meant to
    prevent said behavior from causing you to stew and stay emotionally unbalanced for a long time after
    the actual moment of conflict. And if the other party has or develops the courage to apologize to
    you, having some pre-made compassion available in your heart improves your chances of offering
    genuine forgiveness and experiencing that much more emotional harmony.

    3. After you have worked on developing compassion for the other person’s circumstances, if you
    haven’t received an apology, be kind, but don’t push for a make-up session. An important part of
    experiencing emotional balance is learning to teach others that you expect to be treated with
    kindness and respect. To seek out a make-up session when you have done nothing wrong and the other
    party has not mustered up the courage to apologize is to teach him or her that you can be walked on.

    Group 3: Ideal to be close

    Examples of people who belong in this category:

    Immediate family members Relatives Friends that you have good reason to respect

    How to protect your health against such people:

    1. Go through the first two steps outlined above; try to figure out if you did something wrong, and
    apologize if you can think of something.

    2. While it’s important that you teach family members and close friends how you expect to be
    treated, in some cases, it may be necessary for you to seek out a make-up session even if the other
    party has not apologized for his or her behavior.

    For example, if it was your spouse who mistreated you, and he or she has not owned up to the
    mistreatment, if you know from experience that he or she is not likely to initiate a conversation
    that can lead to healing, and a top priority for you is to have your children grow up in a mostly
    peaceful and love-filled environment, it may be best for you to reach out first. By reaching out
    first in such a scenario, the hope is that you inspire your partner to edge closer to taking more
    responsibility for his or her actions during the next conflict. Clearly, this proactive and almost
    martyr-like approach to increase understanding and intimacy is most appropriate in situations where
    you are deeply committed to the long term relationship that you have with the other party.

    If you are currently struggling in your relationship with someone who belongs in this category, I
    hope that you find one or more of the following articles to be helpful:

    Using Honesty to Build a Good Relationship http://drbenkim.com/node/1 Understanding Your Partner’s Primary Love Language http://drbenkim.com/articles-lovelanguage.html How to Forgive Someone Who Has Hurt You http://drbenkim.com/blog/2006/07/how-to-forgive-someone-who-has-hurt.html
  5. Lynn Koiner Says:

    My friend, Lorraine, sent this information on other toxic relationships, often people with lots of Cardinal afflictions in their charts. This concept of the Crazy Makers comes from the book, THE ARTIST’S WAY

    CRAZY-MAKERS:

    Ms. Cameron details the various ways in which we block or sabotage our creativity by the company we keep and in the friends and people we choose to associate with. One such way in which creatives block their creativity is to involve their self with what she calls “Crazymakers”. After reading this section, I felt that stabbing sensation in the pit of my stomach which clicked a resounding truth. I’ve experienced more than my share of crazymakers in my life!

    1. Crazymakers, she states can be found in almost any setting. The crazymaking dynamic is grounded in power and any group of people can function as an energy system to be exploited and drained. Nuclear families are infamous crazymakers. The example she provides is that of the “destructive matriarch who devoted energies to destroying the creativity of her children. Always choosing critical moments for her sabotage, she plants her bombs to explode just as her children approach success.”
    To provide some examples, Cameron lists the ways Crazymakers manifest their craziness in your life:

    1. Crazymakers break deals and destroy schedules. They either show up early when you are pressed for time or show up late while dinner burns in the oven.

    2. Crazymakers expect special treatment. They display a variety of ailments and attention seeking histrionics precisely during your busiest part of the day, during your final exam or any known deadline.

    3. Crazymakers discount your reality. They violate your needs and do not respect your boundaries and they have no desire to comply with your wishes.

    4. Crazymakers spend your time and money. They meet you for lunch then tell you when the bill arrives they forgot to bring enough money. They borrow personal items from you and return it late or don’t’ return them at all.

    5. Crazymakers triangulate those they deal with. They thrive on your energy and set people against each other. The main point is that it’s a completely unnecessary distraction of something not even remotely important.

    6. Crazymakers are expert blamers. It’s never their fault and they never take responsibility for their actions.

    7. Crazymakers create drama. They are devoted to their own agenda and impose those agendas on others.

    8. Crazymakers hate schedules except their own. Time is their primary tool of abuse. If you have a deadline, they will find a way to invade your space, spring dramas, questions, requests on you at the last minute to redirect your focus onto them.

    9. Crazymakers hate order. They thrive on chaos and are addicted to it and think nothing of creating and recreating it in your own life.

    10. Crazymakers deny they are crazymakers. They think that you are the crazy one. The question Cameron poses is if Crazymakers are so destructive then why are you involved with one?? To be involved with a Crazymaker is self destructive and blocks your own inherent creativity. “If you’re involved in a tortured tango with a Crazymaker, stop dancing to his or her tune.”! Thank you Julia Cameron for relaying an important message and to an online acquaintance named Steve for the book recommendation. The “message” arrived at a most synchronous moment.

  6. Connie Says:

    Great information! Great advice!

    We have psychic-vampires, here, in San Francisco California. They often like to make the most of the captive audience on the public bus.

    We have “King George’s” disease vampires here, as well. One time I saw a “slave” on a chain, of a very pale woman wearing a dramatic cape and she had heavy zinc-oxide on her skin. I thought: who is the slave?

    [“King George’s” disease, porphyria, is a problem of being related to yourself on both sides of your family. This is, from marrying your cousins, too much.]

    Also San Francisco has “sex-addicts” 12-step meetings – for some, a place to find victims.

    A young person here who wears black said, “I left my soul in San Francisco”. So true.

    I am convinced the root of the problem is ego-centric-ism.

  7. Lynn Koiner Says:

    Neptune in Relationships: For Molly

    Neptune is both a blessing and a curse. Neptune tolerates so many things in a relationship that it allows less-than-perfect relationships to go on for years in a state of happiness and satisfaction. But, it can tolerate the intolerable just as well.

    Neptune is in my 2nd and strongly aspected to many planets in my chart. Most relationship issues are just “not that bad” for me. I can get along with most people, as long as they are not aggressive or hostile. I have been in a relationship with a man for 16 years with whom I have little in common. BUT, he has a good heart and he has a wonderful family that love me dearly. Not having much of a family myself. He gives me a lot of freedom because he needs freedom to play golf. I feel that life is easier because of my Neptune tolerance.

    However, when I overlook problems in a relationship (personal and professional), this is when I get into trouble. Now, I agree with you on this point – I almost never have problems collecting money from clients. It is rare in my 40 years of practice that I have received a bad check or a non-payment. We are very lucky in this respect.

    I have observed that, with Neptune in the 2nd, our parents did not show us how to do things. My mother would put me on a budget and my grandmother would slip me a $20. When I would ask my mother (or my father) to show me how to make something, they would just do it for me. Even now, my dad is almost 90 years old. When I asked him to show me how to use the weed wacker, he just went ahead and wacked the weeds himself. I still do not know how to use the darned thing.

    What I know I have taught myself. But, what I did NOT learn is the true value of my efforts. I give more of my time to others than I should but it is never so bad. And, I enjoy giving readings. Molly, you also have a Beginning Saturn and Saturn at very early degrees also indicates that parents, more likely the father, did not teach you about responsibility. You have to learn yourself. Some people with an early Saturn learned very early on how to be responsible but others may have been coddled by the mother so that they never really learned an efficient use of Saturn.

    Last week I received an e-mail from a woman who asked for a reading, saying that she needed direction, her Soul’s Purpose and an analysis of the transits and progressions in her chart. She said that she had 10 years of experience with astrology but she needed an objective perspective of her chart. Then (she must have had marketing experience) she said that, because she was such an experienced astrologer, that it would only be fair if I charged much less for her…”.after all, it would only be fair.” And, she was “sure that we could work together on this.” Fair to whom!!? Work TOGETHER…what together? I would doing all of the work…for her.

    This is a very manipulative personality. Her e-mail showed that she was trained in verbal manipulation. So, I said that I would be out of town and unable to help her. That is, I gave her the “bum’s rush.” If I had been drawn into her discussion, I know that she would have projected onto me about how I was unfair and unreasonable. I just cut them off and I no longer get drawn into this. Have I been cheated before? Of course – but, like yourself, it is rare. I still get very upset when it happens. I was writing for DC-ONE magazine and, while they would sometimes get behind in their payment, they were very good about paying and inviting me to major events and premiers in the Washington Area. Then, under new management, when I asked about the $500 that they owed me, they said, “Do you have a contract with us? (No!) Well, let me get back to you…” That was the last I heard from these people and the magazine is no longer in publication.

    I knew all along that this was going to happen. They did not respond to my e-mails about payment but I continued to send in my column because I would also send this column out to friends and clients (now the monthly Astro-Column) – it was not so bad. The handwriting was on the wall but I tolerated, hoped for the best and continued to send in my column….until I too got the “bum’s rush.” This occurred under a Neptune transit and I was very hurt. I should not have been hurt because it was obvious what was going to happen. In some ways, I can only blame myself for tolerating and allowing myself to work for so long without payment.

    Neptune dissolves what no longer works, what we have outgrown and what needs to end. I needed to stop working for this magazine. I never got business from it. Once it ended, I was able to write the column in my own style, not to suit the magazine. It can be long or short and I can say what I want. The “betrayal” was a good thing. It was the only way I would allow myself to let go.

    Molly, the transiting Neptune has been hitting your professional Houses (7 and 10) very strongly. A betrayal was bound to happen. There are patterns in business that you need to change and Neptune will make this very clear in the end. But, having bad Neptune transits does not mean that you will suffer losses. I had a client years ago – Neptune was in Sagittarius in the 7th House squaring his Pisces Stellium in the 10th House. I told him that he would get a client who could make or break him. He had to follow very strict Saturnian rules under Neptune.

    As an accountant, the new client wanted a major 1-year audit of his company. My client had to hire a large staff to accomplish this. He told the client (under my instruction) that, if the payment did not arrive on Friday, no one would show up on Monday. Only twice during the year did payment not arrive on Friday but, by Sunday, a courier came to his office with the money! As a result of his strict discipline, he made so much money that he decided to retire from accounting and pursue his dream career in body building. If they had not paid him in a timely manner, he would have gone bankrupt!

    I have talked with other friends with Neptune in the 2nd House and we all concur that our internal values get pretty murky at times. Neptune tolerates long after others would have dumped the client. “Neptune can make one not see financial situations clearly – sometimes unable to see that the client is a problem.” The behavior is always there but Neptune does not want to see it. You have to ask yourself, “When did I realize that he was crazy?” … that is when you should have drawn the line.

    You have a Cardinal T-Square with Jupiter as the Apex planet. Jupiter has problems with moderation and proportion. The Cardinals are attracted to Crises and Crazy-Makers (strong Cardinal positions themselves). There is a health issue that seems to parallel with these “parasites” – internal parasites. Try Country Life’s Para-Forces or another parasite formula. A doctor friend told me that, when she started taking the Internal Parasite formula, the external, 2-legged types disappeared from her life.

  8. Lynn Koiner Says:

    FROM JENNIFER:
    I just read the posting on psychic vampires – what I want to know is how do they know ?

    I have met several of them and, at each time, I was at a crossroads and getting involved with them would have meant that I would have stayed put.

    Do I give off some sort of vibrational energy that they pick up on ?
    I think that, when you are being drained, you keep a situation going for them not you. One of the best vampires that I know is always offering me stuff — a job, a place to stay, and yet the conversation always remains the same, its always someone else. They are often very charming and attractive too.

    FROM LYNN:

    You have very accurately described the VAMPIRE personality. The Vampire operates in a “survival” mode and, like the spider that senses the tug on its web, they are very much attuned to the vulnerability of some PREY. They offer you “stuff” so that they will not lose their “energetic” host. Yes, it is always about THEM.

    VAMPIRES were disempowered by a parent — the Vampire Parent — and they learned to take energy from others instead of empowering themselves.
    Both Vampires and Hosts had a Vampire Parent. With a Host (such as yourself), they often lack boundaries and a strong Pluto to fend off the Vampire.

    Vampires are very Plutonian — they learned that survival depended upon their ability to pick up subtle cues regarding others (who will help them, what these people need, where they are vulnerable).

    To empower yourself energetically, wear deep regal red and listen to Wagner’s Greatest Hits. This music is very empowering…such as The Entrance of the gods into Valhalla.
    Good luck and thank you for your excellent question…Lynn

  9. Molly Cliborne Says:

    Hi Lynn,

    One other question has been rolling around my brain… do you make a distinction between a “psychic vampire” and a garden variety well meaning but needy person with a negative outlook who drains you? Or is it the same thing?

  10. Lynn Koiner Says:

    Molly, you have just asked an excellent question and one that I was discussing with Janet Kane this week.

    I met a woman recently who is the draining type but NOT a vampire. She is mostly Mutables with Neptune in a Libra Stellium. Being with her, I felt that she was like a tick sucking the life force from my body. She is needy with very low self-esteem and very much the Poor Me Sun in Pisces.

    She is exactly as you described — the garden variety, well meaning but needy person with a negative outlook who drains you. But, she is definitely NOT a vampire….she just feels like one.

    Janet said that Vampires would not be the Mutables and Vampires would have a very afflicted Pluto.
    Vampires are more manipulative and they offer you something in return so that they can syphon off your energies.
    Vampires feel energized and invigorated by the energy that they “steal” from you.
    But, there is a big different between the Needy Person and the Vampire — they just feel the same to be around.

  11. joyce Says:

    Hi Lynne
    Is vampirism contagious?
    I have been harrasssed repeatedly. To the point of becoming suicidal.
    Almost my whole chart is in the 8th house.
    I have a good marriage , a great child, I had a loving normal supportive childhood, great friends,good health and although not tons of money- recogition for my talents and gainful employment as an artist.
    But now as a result of being tortured and harrassed by a former associate who breaks in to my home and has me followed,I have become dis-empowered.
    Living in fear.
    Not looking for a free reading.

  12. Lynn Koiner Says:

    No, vampirism is not contagious. It is a psychological profile.

    Art — as well as healing — is a great outlet for 8th House planets. Planets in this House are very intense but this needs to be projected outside, not internally. When the energy is internalized, we are in danger of distorting what we perceive.

    Since I do not have all of the facts about this situation, I cannot analyze it. If you need an astrologer in your area, I can possibly recommend one…sorry I cannot be more helpful…Lynn

  13. Lynn Koiner Says:

    If you examine the horoscopes of politicans, you will find the Sun-Neptune aspect a common factor so it does not indicate a vampire. The t-square that you mention is not indicative of a vampire. Vampires are powerless Plutonians.
    Being around a Vampire is always draining for other people.

    My evaluations of Vampire types are based upon my personal knowledge of these people. I would never judge someone who I did not know as a vampire. So, I cannot confirm or contradict your assumption.

  14. Lynn Koiner Says:

    These aspects in your chart do not make you or anyone a Vampire. To be honest, I cannot tell from just looking at the chart if this person is a vampire. One just has to be around them and you can tell.
    Vampires are very disempowered people who feel entitled to the energy of others.
    Vampires are not common but I think we have all run into them during the course of our lives. It is important to know that they do exist and what you can do it you meet one.

  15. Richard Says:

    Dear Lynn,

    Think about this. Throughout the article it is said that vampires and crazymakers don’t take responsibility for their actions. But while reading this article I felt it would make people fear other people. Actually instilling fear while it is meant to heighten awareness about ourselves and the way we relate to others. But stating that others are vampires or crazymakers or anything else separates ourselves from these other people.
    It is due to guilt feelings that we people allow others to drain us. If we are ignorant (unconscious) about others draining our energy, that means we do not know something about ourselves. About how we subconsciously think about ourselves.

    What I mean is. Does this article promote people to be more controlling and have them think: “He is a vampire!!!! Get away from me!!”. Or does this make people understand why vampires are vampires (it does partially) and how to handle such people without associating with them (so they can’t drain you).
    Unless we associate our heart with God/Divinity/Soul, we will always experience fluctuations in Love as our Love isn’t coming from the One consistent equanimical Source.

    Your reply to this woman who wanted you to read her chart for less money (because she said it would be ‘fair’ as she was a well known astrologer) was avoiding your Truth. On a Divine level this other woman is part of you, and she wishes to “bump into herself” so she can recognize herself. On a Divine level she already knew you were not going to give the reading. From a point of Light from inside her heart she came to you to hear from you about herself so she could shed her ignorance about the person she thinks she is. (or simply it wasn’t her time yet and you still had to learn about self-appreciation for your work, but this is an example of how things go when we are conscious).

    Your reply caused her to feel rejected as in her heart she knows that you weren’t going to be out of town, but never learned about the reason for you to reject her. She still didn’t see herself clearly and from the spark of Divine Love within her she just wants to be liberated from herself.

    ‘Vampires’ are people with a higher amount of latent guilt feelings so in fact all people are in some way vampires as they extract identity from the external world (worldly things or people) instead of reconnecting in the heart with the Divine). If we are unconsciously being drained by a vampire it is because some part in us wishes to learn about self-value/appreciation so that we can reconnect with our true essence and stop looking for it elsewhere (I know that a big part of the article is intended to have people value themselves and stand up for themselves).
    The moment we find Divinity within we don’t say: “there is a vampire!!! KILL IT!!”, we ‘see’ their loss with themselves and try to kindly redirect them to look within and not outside themselves.

    So too, you could have replied to this woman (I just tuned into her), from your heart (as that makes you stand unassociated to her and therefore speak Truth): “You don’t want to give yourself what you most need. Therefore, neither can you share yourself with others and experience the satisfaction it brings. As money symbolizes “manifestation energy”, and wish to refrain yourself from the flow of this energy, you do not allow yourself to have enough of anything. People may reflect this at you and it seems they world takes from you, but this is how you treat yourself and thus unconsciously treat the world.”

    Minds are many, heart is one!! Forms are many, Love is One!! When we do not react out of love, but try to control or protect ourselves, we actually negate to see a shadow side of ourselves. Vampires may refuse to see their shadow sides, but as long as we run away from vampires, not telling our Truth to them, we are running away from our shadow side. The fact a vampire shows up in our lives means we do no want to face our own guilt feelings.
    Once we got the lesson learned, we automatically know whether we have to leave, out of love for both the vampire and ourselves, or the vampire floats away by itself. In any way, Love makes it happen, not the mind.

    Thank you for all your work Lynn. I appreciate the purity and consciousness you try to instill in the people.
    Essentially there is no “you or me”. I know that you know, but keep it in mind with every article you write so the message will always motivate people to act out of love and to cultivate love. There will be no misinterpretations and ego-abuse of the precious information given by.

    with love,
    Richard (the ex-Vampire ;)

    (I’m an Aries Sun in the 8th opposing Pluto in the 2nd Libra, Mercury in Pisces the 7th squaring Neptune in the 4th, Stellium Jupiter/Mars/Lunar nodes on the Ascendant in Virgo/Leo, Venus conj. MC in Gemini/Taurus and Uranus conj. Moon on the IC in Scorpio. Saturn in the 1st in Virgo).
    After years of re-experiencing over 250 past lifetimes going deeply into darkness and coming out lighter I now work as a psycho-spiritual therapist releasing the conditioning from past lives for other people.

  16. Lynn Koiner Says:

    The term Psychological Vampire is definitely not generalized, especially if you read the article. There have been many books on this topic written by very well-known psychologists, including Caroline Myss.

    I drew the material for this article from their writings and from another astrologer-therapist and my own personal experience. I have also interviewed German therapists on this topic.

    This information has been helpful to those who have attended my lectures and finally got a “label” for a dysfunctional relationship in their lives. It is helpful if you are living with one or have been in a relationship with one.
    And, in my example of the German Vamipire, enough people said, “Enough!,” and he was able to change, to empower himself and not feel that he has to drain the energy of others.

  17. Lynn Koiner Says:

    Ms Pisces – Vampires often know what they are doing but do not want to change. When anyone sheds light on them, they get defensive.
    Only one person actually changed as indicated in this article but this is rare.
    When someone says they are an ex-vampire, I do not believe it, especially if the post is defensively written.
    Pisces can be vulnerable. Do not try to change what you cannot.
    These are people who do not own their Pluto — disempowered, they feel they have the right to take energy from others.

    Angela – I know nothing of the 11th House and Past Lives. If you feel vulnerable to vampires, follow the protective techniques and read the books mentioned in this article.

  18. Lynn Koiner Says:

    ANDREI: When anyone does not OWN their Pluto, it means that they do not empower themselves. They seek strength and energy from others, not from within.
    Such people get others to do something for them rather than doing it themselves. They feel internally weak, often dis-empowered by a Vampire parent.

  19. Lynn Koiner Says:

    RONA: Thank you for writing. I did not understand this phenomena until I heard the lecture by Janet Kane, who attracts this type like a magnet. I researched and developed this further so that others would be aware — awareness is essential to stopping the Vampire.

    I gave a lecture on this topic at the MAC conference in Cincinnati and the audience was dead silent. Only one man was in the group and he said that Vampires can be women — as his ex-wife was a vampire. Indeed this is true!

    Because I am exposing Vampires, I get unpleasant comments from Vampires who do not like this exposure. Richard June 12 is one of these. Written about 3 years ago, I did not respond because that would be giving energy to the Vampire (he is no ex-vampire).

    He sites an example where I turned down a famous astrologer who wanted a reading at a discount because she was a famous astrologer and this would only be fair (fair to whom?!). I remember this event very well. I was traveling abroad and, at that time, my secretary, Barbara, handled my website questions. This request for a discount reading came in a private post. It was NOT posted on this website. How did Richard know about this?! Because he had to be the originator of the e-mail.

    NOTE: Even my closest friends have never requested a discount so I am amazed when total stranger does this.

    Normally, I delete unpleasant Vampire e-mails (one saying that he, as a Vampire, was doing a service to others by taking their energy — pleeease!) but I left this one up as something to which I could refer as time passed — when “Richard” would not be able to obtain energy from the discussion.

  20. Billie Says:

    I have been reading the article and especially the posts from your readers with great interest. You mentioned Richard and your delay in mentioning anything about him — not wanting to give the Vampire any energy. Good idea!

    This guy Richard is just coming from a different place than you. I think your work on the vampires has helped a lot of people defend themselves.

    Because of my history, I have no sympathy for vampires or
    ex-vampires. I don’t believe in pounding a stake into their heart — I do believe in avoiding them and finding our own power.

    You and Richard for instance have different takes on this subject.

    Do you know him? Did he have a personality disorder and got cured? He sounds like a Christian — which can really set you up to being a vampire or a victim.

    The book I am reading now, Depth Psychology and the New Ethic, says that we have been brought up to be perfect — Christianity, Judaism and all the others and have shoved down the parts of ourselves that don’t fit that perfect model. Jung calls this the Shadow.

    We need to go from trying to be perfect to being whole so that we don’t create a shadow that we project on to others.

    It sounds like Richard is trying real hard to be spiritual and connect to the divine, so he is projecting his crap onto you. Maybe he isn’t an EX vampire after all :-)

    You put yourself out there and, of course, you may get criticism from others. Better than hiding your light under a bushel.

  21. Michael Abiff Says:

    This is indeed an excellent article. The responses are also robust and insightful. I would just like to add that, technically speaking, an energized aura is by far the best way to deal with the class of vampires being discussed, in fact all classes of vampires since so much of the activity occurs at the subconscious level.

    Every living thing is encased in a force field, or aura. When in tact and energized with chi energy and well tuned chakras the aura is a potent psychic defense ally.

    We are all subjected to psychic stresses daily from a myriad of sources. The vampires being discussed are just a segment of what’s coming at you out there. Psychic vampires are much more personal because they are right in your face and often cannot be avoided right away.

    Here are a few tips when put on the spot:

    If you suspect someone of being a psychic vampire, avoid standing right in front of them or sitting directly across from them.

    When you do meet their gaze focus on their left eye.

    Keep your arms folded across your solar plexus.

    Be sure to sit with your legs crossed.

    An excellent book on the subject is Psychic Self Defense & Well Being by Melita Denning and Osborne Phillips.

  22. Kimberly Says:

    They do indeed exist, those of us who are not Astrological call them Sociopaths.

  23. Lynn Koiner Says:

    KIMBERLY (9-2011): I receive posts from Vampires (Richard June 12 who says he is an ex vampire – I made a comment at a later time) but most I delete.
    Some promote the great service they are doing to drain off the excess energy of their victims. This type really sees themselves in a heroic role. I delete these immediately.

    Many Vampires can be harmless enough and they do not know any better – disempowered Pluto. They learned so early that this is their only means of survival. I mentioned one of these in the article.

    Then, there are the narcissists. This is the most common. Everything is about THEM and their needs. Draining is an entitlement.
    Fortunately, I have never met the sociopaths. They must be scarey.

  24. Katie Says:

    Hi Lynn,

    Something just poped into my head while i was reading this.

    What if we are bound to come cross with people like Vampire because it could be Karme in play? Who knows if we were the Vampire last lifes and sucked all the energy out from these people? So it’s the incarnation that in this life we are supposed to pay back the ‘debt’? I understand that karma is an interesting topic and not everyone believes in this way of interpreting life.

    Just thought to throw this idea in the open, this is definitely something that i often find myself debating inside.

  25. Lynn Koiner Says:

    KATIE (4-2012): Allowing someone to psychically drain your energies is paying back a karmic debt!!!!
    Hell NO!
    Our karmic responsibility is to stop them from playing this game.
    Yes, I can understand how you are thinking but do not even go there!
    Anyone who continues to feed these parasites is only incurring bad karma for themselves — attracting vampires until they learn to say NO!

  26. A.K. Says:

    Lynn, thank you so much for this article.

    I would also like to thank all the other contributors and the writer who brought up the words by Cameron from ‘The Artist’s Way’ about “crazymakers”. I remember reading that book during a period of writer’s block and the book helped me realize the reason why I was so blocked creatively. I thought it was all in my head after years of having one ex boyfriend vampire accuse me of being paranoid, insecure, and into existential conspiracy theories. The thing is I am not any of these things in my regular life with supportive and loving friends, but when around him, deep seated fears and insecurities just burst to the surface and I became an unstable, volatile, emotional mess. I have Pluto in 12th house Libra conjunct his moon and pluto, with Scorpio rising, and Virgo midheaven conjunct his lilith – maybe that explains that, I’m not sure. Thank you for helping me confirm that I am/was NOT crazy.

    I was wondering how to protect oneself from vampires..reclaiming your personal power is a difficult thing to do especially when coming from a household of vampire parents or siblings. The aloofness and walking away I find helps, but you can’t make yourself deaf to the words and unnecessary criticism used. I saw some tips above on how to avoid full frontal contact and body language, but I was wondering if there are any other practical tips or meditational steps to learning how to say no and stand by it when seeking to protect yourself from an emotional or psychological vampire?

  27. Lynn Koiner Says:

    A.K. (6-2012): I have given ways to ward off a Vampire but, if you feel that you need some external help, I love High John the Conqueror Oil from Mystic Curio in Port Charlotte Florida.

    I met the owner rescuing abandoned animals in the French Quarter (NOLA) in the 1980s. He attended Maryland University where I live. After Katrina, he moved to Port Charlotte FL and he is making his oils more mainstream…like perfumes…but they are not.

    High John the Conqueror is actually a bush and its essence is good for protection.

  28. Christina Says:

    I have been the recent victim of a highly intelligent and intentional psychic vampire who has been using remote viewing, telepathy, mind-control, psychic sexual control and other means to take advantage of me. Because I knew this woman both professionally and as a friend for the past few years, I trusted her completely—there was no reason not to. She is all “light” and no shadow publicly. While I have done what I can to destroy energy cords, I am finding it difficult to make this woman stop telepathically connecting to me, and am able to feel her emotions through energetic means, just as she is able to feel mine. I cannot break away from her, and am working desperately to try and do so. The more I attempt to break away, the more this individual threatens to “follow” and “attack” my children or those close to me. I would like to know if you have any idea how to stop a psychic predator of this nature—because meditation and aura cleansing are not working as quickly as one would hope.

  29. Lynn Koiner Says:

    CHRISTINA (7_2012): I presume that you have tried the techniques listed in this article. They did not work?

    Read #28 for additional protection. I will also add Dragon’s Blood potion — no it is not real blood but a plant. Richard makes excellent protection potions.

  30. Alekeia Says:

    Your site is one of the best on that topic. Please, let me add a few things: Vampires will try to put YOU in a fake world, something like a box, with limited choices, all of them not appealing to you. They will try to make you forget who you are and distort your capacities for choice and judgment. This might include also an attack on your believe system. It is important to remember who you are and not to lose contact with close people. Write down on a piece of paper what are your favorite things, your routines, your religion, your friends, your priorities in life and stick to them if distressed. Vampires are greedy to the ridiculous, expecting you to pay for every small thing they want, although they are usually affluent. They have a strong specific smell (always different but anything between chocolate and sulfur). They expect an invitation to your place, once there they will leave only after many solicitations. They beg for love and sympathy. They may call an acquaintance or friendship or co-working “relationship.” They will try to get an object related to you: do not give them anything, avoid contact, avoid emotions, do not even think of him. They are not afraid of Karma because they know that a flicking inner voice has warned you that they are predators. They pretend being afraid of curses but I believe it is only in the hope that you will lavish some energy on them. If you are a strong positive person, investing sincere energy in good deeds, even if it is only singing for the community choir, they can not put a hand on you. If you are vulnerable, restore your routines, do not miss a mass if you are a Christian and, whenever they ask anything annoying, revert to religious arguments. This makes them suffer. If you can not escape, pretend a full loss. Once away, they still can drain you, it is vitally important that you FORGIVE, 90% of it is forgiving yourself. Remember that they are emotionally dead people who can not feel and receive love. If you can not achieve it otherwise, ask the vampire in a vary courteous way for a favor, be yourself, shine when you do it, he or she will be tempted to comply. Once you feel its “caring” do forgive her/him and move on. You can not warn his friends, their perception of you has been distorted by the vampires glamoring. Escape!! – leave him with your CD collection – and be yourself, act according to your believe system, be happy, be a fulfilled person. Do not complain and blame the vampire, or you will leave a trail behind you for the next one to feed on you. Long standing odd diseases, career destruction, depression are not even the worse what can happen to you because there is even a possibility for you to become a vampire, a shadowy creature without emotions or maybe something beyond that. So do not complain, be thankful for what you have. Help people who do not ask for help, be there for personalities with dignity. Remember that, in our seemingly tolerant society, you are deprived of your natural defense system, like beating up the attacker, trusting your guts (vs. rationalizing) and saying openly what you think. All in all it is not really your fault, since this is not taught at school, an institution preparing docile victims. If your situation is very bad, ask for “unexpected help” it will arrive!

  31. KS Says:

    This article and the following comments have been of great interest to me. I am curious about how this does or does not apply to spousal abuse or other domestic violence scenarios. How many of these perpetrators are likely to be Vampires as well? At least some of the symptoms and patterns of behavior are very similar.

  32. Lynn Koiner Says:

    KS (4-2013): Vampires are rarely violent or abusive. They want to maintain a good relationship with their host/victim.

    Yes, there is a type that likes to instigate arguments in order to get energy from the argument. This type is mentioned in the article.

  33. Timothy Says:

    What about Mars in Scorpio? These people are excellent Psychic vampires. They have all the tools they need to drain others. Almost everyone I had met was one. I’ve noticed a huge pattern with Psychic vampires and Mars in Scorpio. I think there is an urge for them(rather they act on it or not) to really syphon energy out of others. They know what gets under peoples skin and they do it! Some, very few resist this urge. They often will keep doing it until you openly put your foot down. But some may only stop for a period of time-and start up again. I notice a big pattern of psychic vampirism in Mars in Scorpio.

  34. Lynn Koiner Says:

    TIMOTHY (6-2013): Millions of people are born with Mars in Scorpio – it is in the sign for 6 weeks every 2 years. I know many Mars in Scorpio individuals who work very intensely at whatever they do.

    You may know someone with Mars in Scorpio who drains energy but this is not common to this sign.

    Many years ago, I researched the charts of murderers. I found that Libra (not just the Sun Sign) would produce the cold, calculating murderer (Jeffrey Dalmer) – but the Scorpio was more often the victim.

  35. Dirk Says:

    Your latest comment is spot on Lynn. Incredible how (Mars in) Scorpio has gotten such a bad rep. Intensity and vampirism are wholly different things. The #1 vampires I’ve met, and I’ve met a few thanks to my own Mars in Scorpio, all had heavy Air emphasis in their charts (Libra and Aquarius).

    In my experience people with Mars in Scorpio have the energy and intensity vampires just love (and perhaps need to feel alive). They don’t need to get it from someone else. If anything, they’re the providing party involved.

  36. Charlotte Says:

    Thank you for the descriptions in this article. I can look back on my life now and understand why I had to have exceptional guidance to protect myself, understand how important forgiveness is, the Pluto Neptune aspects, etc, etc. I have Mars in Scorpio, and I’m in the process of reinventing myself. While others would not come right out and use the word vampire, I knew what it meant, but I never really put that label on anyone. I am in a safe place now, and can truly understand the difference between where I was and where I am. And my Pluto is mine!Blessings to you for sharing this information.

  37. Paul Gates Says:

    I am a Pisces, and I am speaking about a Pisces if you consider my entire chart. I also have Neptune in the 7th house, and other than Pluto it makes no major aspects to any other planet
    Suppose there was a document sent to your house when I was about 5 years old, that I have not been able to see to this day, that I know is the word itself. Would you think that it is a vampire related document?

  38. Lynn Koiner Says:

    PAUL (7-2013): I am not a psychic and I only know about people. Sorry I cannot answer your question.

  39. Laura Says:

    Hi Lynn, great article!

    My ascendant is in Pisces and I have natal Mars in 2nd house opposing natal Neptune in 8th house. My Mother had issues with me throughout my childhood – she thinks I had the childhood she always wanted but never had, and that I wasted it.

    I’ve attracted all kinds of moochers parasites etc., although in reality I am not easily fooled. But I must give out that impression because these people get so angry when I see through them and refuse them point blank. Almost as if my supposedly gullible look makes them feel entitled.

    I hate this Mars-Neptune opposition wish I could do something about it. I am afraid it may become dangerous as I get old and more dependant on “other people’s money” such as pensions and other royalties.

    Thank you for reading this. Hope you got my earlier answers to the personal e-mail you sent.

  40. Lynn Koiner Says:

    LAURA (7-2013): Not an easy aspect…Mars-Neptune. It generally indicates (because I have a square) a parent who did not want you to grow up or grow away and psychologically sabotaged your “mars.”

    My Mars-Neptune has contributed to a condition called Avoidance so I put things off for no reason at all.

    In some, it can create a tendency to try to rescue others. But, there is no such thing as a Rescuer — only 2 people vying for the Victim slot.

  41. Laura Says:

    Thanks Lynn! I am actually prematurely born and I’ve always wondered about that – would my life be different with “the right” natal constellation. In terms of the Mars – Neptune opposition probably not, these aspects last for years because both planets are so slow.

    Like you, I have the avoidance syndrome. I also had the rescuer syndrome at some point. There is a problem with that though. Sometimes rescuing is rescuing – pulling someone to safety because they did not notice a car coming. That is fine. But often rescuing means doing things for people when they are quite capable of doing them themselves. Once an astrologer/ witch I know and respect pointed out that “rescuing” in that sense carries a karmic debt to the rescuer. The person who wants rescuing have the task they want rescuing from for a reason – they need to do it themselves to learn the lesson and grow. By rescuing them, the rescuer effectively takes the learning opportunity away, denying them a chance to learn and grow. They may get the opportunity again, in a harsher form, to force them to learn. Or they may not get it. Hence the karmic debt to the rescuer.

    I did not see things that way, it was a revelation and it certainly made me stop “rescuing”. Of course the victim simply looks for a different rescuer, but that is no longer my problem.

  42. Lynn Koiner Says:

    LAURA (7-2013): There are also be major problems with RECEIVING.

    If you cannot or do not know how to receive, then it is etched in granite that the only people in your life will be people who do not know how to give!

  43. Lee Says:

    The best way to get a psychic vampire to leave you alone is to either change the “taste” of your energy when becoming aware of whats happening or learn to bite/fight back.

    If the food on your plate tastes bad you do not eat it.

    If the food jumps up and fights you? Again you are inclined not to bother with it.

    For the most part vampires are into the darker things. Also most are deeper down vibrationally. Basically keeping your vibrations high will stop most of them.

    Being passive with your actions/defense against one just makes the whole encounter drag on. Be active and resolute.

    Above all being aware is key.

  44. GF Says:

    I cannot be around either Cancer men/ women for any length of time (I.e. in the workplace) without wanting to either extricate myself from the place or beat them up. These guys are intellectually challenged, evil, and mountains of worry who are always creating some drama – I stayed home from work yesterday as I could not stand the idiocy of one of the (Cancer) managers. The funny thing is, everyone knows they’re idiots, but no-one actually ever stands up and says anything, these people operate by social intimidation.
    I think the best way of dealing with it is to be aloof, to fight one’s natural tendencies towards being sympathetic or fair when they are around, as they will exploit it and stab one in the back anyway. I just came out of a relationship with a Cancer man and it’s my belief I was lied to from start to finish. Then again, if he wants to be an a**hole, he can bring it on, because I will torpedo him…and frankly he hasn’t got much to hold on to. Most other Aries I know can’t stand Cancer either, or anything they stand for.

    Aries with Pisces, Pluto and 8th house leanings (Too much compassion – more brutality required).

  45. Paul Gates Says:

    I guess did you come to the conclusion that an unaspected Neptune in the 7th house attracts vampires?
    I guess my chart is an example of that but not in the way you describe.
    This started for me even before I had done my own chart with a document sent to our house in the 1950’s. A document that I guess I can only say is the word itself.
    My entire chart shows that I am a Pisces, and a grand trine in water in natural water houses.
    Because of this configuration I have been literally tortured by sleep deprivation with Jupiter Retrograde in the 12th house.
    Would you know why, and how the zodiac might be different if you divide all the moon cycles in 28 day cycles into 28 days so that there are 13 instead of 12 moon cycles?

  46. Paul Gates Says:

    I have one more think that I would like to say about Vampires from a different perspective that you might not want to explain, but I think it is important.
    Suppose that most of what we call religion, at the most basic level of creeds or fundamental is, I think, built on Vampires. I think what that Vampires from the time that things like even the Kabbalah might have its origin related to Vampires.
    The symbol for Pisces () or the other way )( might be used the first letter of the (G)host and (D)evil or as it written in the Hebrew bible as G-d. Ghost is not a word but if you put the symbol for Pisces around it then I think you get something that says how the origin of how we got here and what that origin might have been.
    I think that the “G” in Ghost is the connection to the 10th sign of the zodiac or Capricorn and the “D” in the word Devil might be associated with the Scorpio since artist depictions of the Devil always depict the Devil with a Tail like the last part of the M shaped Glyph in the sign of Scorpio

    Thanks Lynn for responding to my last post. This time I have included two more posts

  47. Lynn Koiner Says:

    PAUL (11-2013): First, I would never categorize large groups of anything as being Vampire-based. This other stuff about the letter G in Ghost being connected to Capricorn is way off. This obsession with negativity probably finds it root in that Grand Water Trine.

    GWTs can cause a dysfunction in the Occipital Lobe of the brain which is ruled by the element of Water. No, I am not saying that you have a brain problem – each element is subject to problems with certain Neurotransmitters.

    OCCIPITAL LOBE & SEROTONIN METABOLISM

    DEFICIENCY HEALTH ISSUES: Sleep disorders due to out-of-sync brain waves or extreme sensitivity to the environment, the brain cannot recharge itself.

    Others include: depression since life has no joy or meaning (although all lobes can cause this, mood disorders, binging, loner behavior, allergies (deficiency can manifest as allergies), hypertension, loss of enthusiasm for life; no longer enjoy life. Hormonal Imbalances and Eating Disorders.

    SUPPLEMENTS: Serotonin, 5-HTP and Tryptophan SEROTONIN is created by 5-HTP and TRYPTOPHAN. It is best absorbed taken 30 minutes before meals. It reduces carbohydrate cravings. Tryptophan is more stable than 5-HTP

    I teach this at IAA and this information is based upon the work of Dr. Eric Braverman

  48. Robert Paul Says:

    Thanks to all of you, for all your input. Please note that, as a backdrop, now we live in what could be called the “time” or “age” of psychic vampirism – this was foreseen and so called by Dane Rudhyar. (They are all around…) Please ! – do keep this in mind.
    And please, make no excuse for them, on any ground – just look at it as matter of fact: one a criminal, the other the victim – such as black and white, objectively, no (= NO !) “relativity” here! (Is “relativity” a device of the devil (?)…) This will keep your head straight, nothing else.
    I have met many, and the last one was the worst, truly “beyond” conceivable. But I managed at the outset that there was just no rapport whatsoever, and that first meeting was the last too.
    Another thought that might help, when encountering a vampire : are you/were you planning to commit suicide or to get murdered (destroyed; beyond the conceivable: you as soul/entity/being, ultimately!) ? – Do keep this in mind as well : this will save you. One just has to “think” black and white (clear) : friend or enemy (either or, no in-between, no mix-up) – this will save you – Going only by what and how you feel and think, ignoring the other (the vampire) as one not even existing (for, for you it does NOT, if it is not “for you” but (against you)…)
    Astrology is a fine indicator, only – to live life is on you (each of us) where you yourself are the central priority. This may have to do with “will”, simply (and “esoterically”…, etc.), not with planets. :)

  49. farah Says:

    Hi

    My ASC is 1 to 3 degree in Libra, sun 4 deg in cap., moon 12 and 1/2 deg in aries

    i have yod with apex moon in 7th, pluto/NN conj in 12th sextiling neptune in 2nd. Moon is focal point of T-square with 4th and 10th.

    neptune strongly trines retro mars 10 deg cancer, in 10th, squares aquarius venus in 5th and sextiles sun jupiter in 4th.

    Venus opposes uranus in 11th, uranus strong trine mercury in 3rd.
    please help me with the yod. Do i attract vampires or am i a vampire ?

    are all my relationships doomed ?

  50. Lynn Koiner Says:

    FARAH (5-2014):

    I cannot say if you attract vampires or if you are one – only you can answer this – but you may, for some reason, just be attracted to losers. It is your entire chart that will give the answers to your relationship problems. We all have issues from our childhood that determine what we attract in others. BUT, this can always be changed once you realize what the problem is.

    If you are attracting vampires, then do what the article suggests – empower yourself; do not be a victim.

  51. Jenny Moon Says:

    Hi,
    I was wondering what happens when two vampires engage in a relationship?
    Do they suck each others energies?

  52. Lynn Koiner Says:

    JENNY 5-2014: You do not understand vampires at all. They are never attracted to each other — they would be competing for “food.” This would never do!
    But, it was a good question.

  53. Grashopper Says:

    Thank you Richard for your wisdom.
    You make the world a nicer place.
    As far as I’m experienced, vampiring is avoiding fear coming from uncertain situations, shame and guilt, and replacing it by power (as in stopping feeling powerless). Some with a vampire-chart (coming from a dysfunctional family, cfr. Wagner) do try to escape the ring by first using their head (intellect) to know that they have to choose for love instead. But unexperienced, they have to rely on people with safe attachments to guide them: firm, with love and especially not with fear and rejection, which made them a vampire in the first place. Yes, they do change if you understand their vulnerability and ego-defences. Yes, it takes time and asks for a phenomenological approach, unconditional acceptance and fair and firm boundaries (for safety and trust). And above all, it asks a lot of introspection and self-knowledge of the helping person too. Because as Richard is saying, it is not about the vampire in itself, it is about the synergie of two people transforming together.

  54. Grashopper Says:

    from a ‘vampire-chart born’ who got the “bum’s rush.”
    ;)

  55. Athena Says:

    Thank you so much Lynn for your excellent article and thank you too to all the people who have contributed their own stories.

    I have a natal Mars/Neptune square and a Moon/Neptune opposition and throughout my life I have encountered people who completely zap my energy. My Mum was all the things you describe and my grandmother was too. All my life I have fought not to be like them. Once I became aware of what was actually happening I did distance myself from Mum emotionally but it caused all sorts of problems as you can imagine.

    I eventually become quite good at not getting involved with people I experienced as vampiric but the recent stationary/direct Mars in Libra has been exactly conjunct my natal Neptune and with it has come a great sense of disempowerment which I have found extremely draining. There have been several specific events recently which have really brought this home and all my old strategies and coping mechanisms seem to have evaporated. I have a fairly strong Pluto and enough natal fire and mutability to deal with these situations normally but because of the sheer exhaustion I have been unable to draw on these parts of myself.

    I found your article when searching for things associated with Mars/Neptune contacts and disempowerment. It has really helped me and given me a perspective on what is actually going on. I need to do some more work on myself, that’s for sure! I also think it would be good to read some of the books that have been recommended.

    Thank you again.

  56. Ira Says:

    Hi Lynn. I got away from mine after a year. Didn’t recognize it at the time. Id never even heard of it. I knew there were issues. I knew I was beat down. However I has no idea what I was in. After I got rid of him. I face booked his ex girlfriend who hadn’t been in it for two years. We got into contact cuz she said something told her to get on. She told me he was a satanist and to get away if I hadn’t yet. He killed one of her cats. Now here’s where it gets interesting. Early on I decided to record our times together on my phone. At first with his knowledge and eventually “without”. But of course now I know he always knew when I left a camera or recording on. He actually used it to his advantage knowing when I heard these things what ui would so to me. If I’d only played them back as I recorded them I could’ve saved myself so much betrayal and pain. However I may not have been awakened to this very real threat. I have so many things that happened throughout this whole thing I know there are Angels and Demons everywhere and I believe in the light more than ever. Write me if you’d like or know of any seminars in the Miami area thanks

  57. Lynn Koiner Says:

    IRA (8-2014): I cannot tell just from your post if he is really a Vampire (who takes psychic energy) or just the run-of-the-mill sociopath. But, if the article helps you, this is good too.

    Oddly, being a satanist does not make someone a Vampire.

    If you read the article, Vampires want to stay in your good graces and I have not known one to be physically abusive or kill animals. This is not a Vampire but a cruel and violent person.

    Vampires never threaten the life of their “host.” So, Readers, you need to discern the difference between a Sociopath, a Psychopath and a Vampire.

    Anyway, you are good to be out of this relationship.

    PS I am in the Washington DC area so I do not have any connections with Miami…sorry.

  58. Susie Says:

    I am in the midst of a smear campaign by a vampire. He yelled at me publicly saying I was “stalking” him. Telling all those who listened that he had to go to my priest to talk about me. Yet, never once did he tell me I was “bothering” him. He said I f’ed with the wrong person and would regret it.

    He has continued to talk about me and tell others I am stalking them on Facebook. “The devaluation phase is subsequent to this idealization phase, and this is when you’re left wondering why you were so abruptly thrust off the pedestal”. One day he was wondering where I was and the next I was a stalker.

    His mood changed when after he insulted me I stopped going by and then I become friends with a couple of his friends and I was ousted from “his care”. He has told me to get off the block -where I live.

    Today I almost ran into him and I saw him pull his car over to wait for me. When I crossed to the over side of the street- he sped off. It did frighten me. He is very angry and a bully. Unfortunately he works down the block from me so my chances of not seeing him are slim. I have let people know where I live and work about him. I have gone to the police.

    And true to form he got me when most vulnerable. New in town, alone, without sufficient clothes or resources, no car. He gave me food, clothes and invited to visit him at wk all the time and when I showed up he would say “what are you doing here”

    I am dealing with the repercussions. And with the help of my therapist, priest and friends I am untangling the psychic effects of him.

  59. Susie Says:

    Sorry for the multiple postings the computer was not in cooperation. Also the article really helped me to see clearly the process involved. I have shared it with my friends in the midst of similar situations. Thank you.

  60. V Says:

    This was a good article. I’m now 100% convinced that I am one of these vampires, and that it’s a good idea to quarantine myself from others as much as possible. I could cry and cry all day and night but I’ll still be cursed. Why am I here?

    Then again, what I’m writing now is just an expression from inside of the same disease.

  61. Lynn Koiner Says:

    V (10-2014): If you think you are a vampire and it concerns you, you are probably NOT a vampire. There are likely other issues shown in your chart.

  62. Lynn Koiner Says:

    ATTENTION READERS:

    There are many crazies out there that periodically post in support of their Vampirism and promoting their Vampire Temple.

    I always delete these as quickly as possible If you see one of these posts, ignore it. Vampires want energy and attention. Do NOT give it to them.

    I do not respond. I delete.

 

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